Being Who You Are…

Our Emotional Realm –  friend or foe?

Have you ever been told “you’re too emotional”?  Or that you should “control yourself”?  Or found a surge of anger erupting out of your mouth after what appears to be a minor incident?    Or regretted that once again, you’d given in to someone else’s ideas or requests rather than stand up for yourself?

These are just some of the many examples of the emotional challenges we are presented with during a normal lifetime.  It can lead people to wonder “is there ANY good to my emotional realm?  It just seems to be a source of heartache and misery”   What’s the truth here?

Your emotional realm is all about energy.  E-motion is Energy in Motion.   There are 4 primary emotions which have helpful purposes:



Emotion Where felt Creative Purpose Felt most when we
Anger Below belly button Help us get what we want get what we don’t want
Fear Solar plexus Help us stay safe think we might lose what we want
Sadness In chest Help us let go lose what we want
Joy All over the body En-joyment! get what we want


Were you ever taught these things before you were an adult?  I wasn’t.    There’s been a reluctance to tell people about emotional matters for a whole raft of reasons:

  • Emotions are associated with loss of control and nobody wants that.
  • Emotions have been medicalised and turned into illnesses – eg to much sadness = depression; too much fear = anxiety; too much joy = mania
  • Our Anglo-Saxon culture teaches that to be a mature member of society, we must learn to control our emotions.  This isn’t the case in Mediterranean cultures who are much more emotionally expressive
  • We don’t have many role models of mature emotional expression.
  • There’s a cultural story/belief that “if I do all the right things, I can avoid struggle in my life”.  This is naive.
  • Given what’s above, there’s a lot of shame associated with emotions.   And to avoid the shame, people make up stories about “why I feel this way” and then believe the stories.  This makes sorting out what’s really going more challenging.


So, with all this going on, how does a person start to make friends with their emotional realm and stop thinking of this as the enemy?    Here are some keys:

  • Start to learn what’s true, right about your emotional realm
  • As most people have a backlog of unexpressed emotion, find a SAFE way to take the lid off carefully.
  • Don’t believe the stories you’ve created – they’re likely to be a partial truth at best
  • Be prepared to be surprised and delighted!

The upcoming Being Who You Are course on “Spring Cleaning Your Emotional Realm” will provide information and experiences that allow you to understand this wonderful resource called your emotional realm more fully.


Andrew Horwood

Program Director


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